About Loss

I lost my grandpa last weekend. He had been battling heart failure for a while and had recently been put on hospice, so it wasn't completely unexpected. The news still came as a bit of a shock, though. I'm not sure you can ever REALLY prepare yourself for the death of a loved one, even when you know it's coming.

It was definitely difficult to be so far from home during this time. I felt very guilty about not being able to be home supporting my family. I very much look forward to going home for the holidays to give everyone a big hug and bring some closure. My cousin Jennifer tried to keep me as involved as possible by giving me a daily play-by-play of what was going on back home during the visitation and funeral. I am so thankful for her. At the funeral, they played a recording of a song that I wrote about my cousin that died 9 years ago this month. I wanted my family to know that I love and miss grandpa and so wanted to be home with them all. I hope they understand.

I have gone through the passing of some friends and family during my life, but it has always been either sudden and unexpected or someone that was much, much too young to be at the end of their life. It has always been an extremely mournful affair. It was a totally different experience losing someone who had lived a good, long life and who had been physically suffering. Grandpa had come to terms with the fact that his time had come to leave this earth, and he was eagerly awaiting rest from his sufferings. I'm not sure I quite knew how to feel. I am very sad for our family's loss and especially for my grandma, but it is also a relief to know that he is now in a place where there is no more pain and no more tears.

I am so grateful that my grandpa knew Jesus Christ. He had invited the Lord to be the King of his life, and he was visibly filled with a peace that can only come from our Savior. He knew he was going to heaven, and he had nothing to fear in death. We shouldn't be sad for him, but it is still hard for the rest of the family to move on. I would appreciate your prayers for our family and especially my grandma, that they would be given peace ad comfort during this time and that Jesus will use my grandpa's death to bring others closer to Him.